Sunday, January 4, 2015

Things That a Sibling Should NOT Do.

Siblings, Not do, family

1) Do not date someone your sibling has dated or liked. I do not know why people would date someone a sibling has dated, or liked but it is not right. If it hurts a person when a friend does it imagine the pain a person feels when a sibling does it.

2) Do not date friends of your siblings. This is one of the problems I had with my sibling. People do not think about it but at some point you have to pick the sibling or the friend. If something goes wrong with the relationship, guess who is stuck in the middle? That I got stuck in the middle so I had to pick.

3) Do not put other above your siblings. When it comes to family anyone coming in should not want your family to take a backseat. That is you have enough to love everyone and picking one over the other is not a fair request to ask. I sibling should not ask and anyone outside of the family should not ask.

4) Do not say something about your sibling behind their back that you would not say to their face. If you are going to say it, say it but be willing to say it to that persons face. This is not just with family but also with friends, if you cannot say it to them do not say it at all.

5) Do not forget what they have done for you. We are not blessed to have siblings that are willing to stand up for us or to be there for us, but for those of us who are do not forget that. Do not forget that many people do not get what you have.

6) Do not get into your siblings business if not invited. I cannot say how rude, bothersome, and problematic for everyone this is. It is okay to keep an eye on your siblings, to worry about their well-being, and to want to know they are safe and happy. However, getting into something that has nothing to do with you will cause problems.

7) Do not feel like your siblings have to listen, or that you have to listen to your siblings. It is okay not to have the same ideals about life as your siblings, all should be understanding about that. My twin sister is Muslim and I personally do not believe in religion. We do not shove this down each other throat, we respect each other’s point of view.

Do keep in mind most of our longest relationships are siblings. Friendships end, spouses leave, parents die, siblings often last most of our life time. I am not saying that I know it all because of the 4 (I am 1 of 9 all together) siblings I was raised with I am only close to 2. However, it’s fair to say that one broke three of the seven things I listed and it wreaked havoc. The other, sibling and I have never been close, just a fact of life.  What I am saying is there are some unwritten rules about sibling relationships, not all have to be followed but doing so will help with problems that can arise. 

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Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

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