Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Why You're Not Married (Review).

It is valentine’s Day this Saturday, with that and black history in mind I chose to write about one of the most popular article on Huffington Post titled “Why You're Not Married” and it was written by Tracy McMillan.
For those of you that know me you know I hate Huffington Post, facts are not checked, research is not referenced, and people feel like its hard “science.” I cannot count the amount of time I have argued with someone over the fact that you cannot quote a Huffington Post about psychology, its bulls**t.
Anyways, getting back to what I was saying the post was written talking to women about why it is they are not married it gives 6 reason why this may be.
1.      You're a Bitch. FYI I hate the term bitch used to describe women I don’t care who says it. However, I do see why she said it and it does get your attention. I noticed a lot of African American women had a hard time with this one. Being an a**hole is not cute and you can’t get/keep a nice guy being like that so I agree with what she is saying. Being nice is not that hard.
2.      You're Shallow. I have very mixed feelings about this. Tracy McMillan says “man's character should be at the top of the list, But if you're not married, I already know it isn't. I am a girl who has put pride in the fact that I date off of character, but if looks are not right under character on that list it is not going to matter how much you like his character. I get what she is saying but I personally have dated guys I was un-attracted to and you do not get more attracted to them because they are nice guys. Attraction and carter are a balancing act.
3.      You're a Slut. I agree with this one you cannot have se with a guy and it not get personal. Someone is going to get feelings and despite the way the post makes it sounds it could be the man or woman. FYI guys typically fall in love before women so it might be him, and you might not be ready.
4.      You're a Liar. I agree with this one and I have 0 experience with it. However, I have known girls who say they “just want to be friends with benefits” and what they really meant was I am going to make him love me.  I only have thing to say about this, how you enter a relationship is how it ends. If you get a guy who had a girl do not be surprised if it does not last.
5.      You're Selfish. A person always just looking out for themselves is really a way to mess up a relationship. I agree with the fact that people do need to worry about others as well as themselves. I do not agree that everyone who has a child has that figured out like the post makes it out.
6. You're Not Good Enough. I agree with this, that people tend to date people who are not good for them because they feel they cannot get what they want. I feel this can also lead to a great deal of issues in a relationship.
What I love about the post is it makes you reflect on yourself. She is not pointing the finger at a guy and what he is doing wrong. The post is all about knowing you, and what you are doing wrong, and how you can fix it. While I really enjoyed the post I found the book to be better. It has a quiz at the beginning that you can take before you read the book. What I learned about myself from this book is that I have problem # 6 “You're Not Good Enough.” I do not know when that happened or how it happened but I need to fix it.
Tracy McMillan try’s and show relationships for a spiritual and understanding point of view.  An example of this is with #2You're Shallow” when she talks about dating someone who was not her type. I totally agree with that you should try and not have a type, but you should not date someone you are not attracted to.

If you have not read the post you should do so, and maybe you should think about getting the book "Why You're Not married...Yet." I have made it through the first few chapters and I love it. I hate self-help books but this one is really funny, and identifiable. So I am going to give a copy away.


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Shakirah
Shakirah

Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

6 comments:

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