Wednesday, August 19, 2015

I Apologize!


I grew up in a family where you got accused of stuff, promises were made and broken, and hurtful things were said, and all of this was done by adults.  The one thing that never happened was an apology.
My sister’s boyfriend was telling me a story tonight about something Noah did a few days ago.


Noah took a toy and hit my sister’s boyfriend on the head. My sister’s boyfriend sent Noah upstairs. Instead of coming upstairs Noah set on the steps for a moment, and then went back downstairs and said “I apologize.” When asked a day later why he apologized he said “because he hit Ka (sister’s boyfriend) on the head with the toy.”

I grew up in a family where you got accused of stuff, promises were made and broken, and hurtful things were said, and all of this was done by adults.  The one thing that never happened was an apology, and learning to say you are wrong is just that LEARNED.  For a long time saying I was sorry for anything made me feel weird, people did not do it when I was a child so why should I do it?

Well I do it because it makes you a better person, it makes you own up to your part of a situation, it gives the other person the chance to hear that you know you made a mistake, and most of all it gives all parties involved a chance to forgive. If there is one person I have made it a point to apologize to it is Noah. I don’t say things without thinking (most of the time), I have never made a promise and not kept it (when it comes to Noah), and I have never accused him of anything. If for any reason I do something wrong I tell Noah I am sorry. It warms my heart that something that took me to adulthood (really motherhood) to do, he his learning young. This is one of those things that I am very proud of him for grasping and I am going to do my best to keep this sense of empathy instilled in him.

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Shakirah
Shakirah

Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

2 comments:

  1. Having grown up in a family where grown-ups didn't apologize for anything was extremely difficult. We grew up thinking that grown-ups could do and act however they wanted, even if it was mean, just because they were in charge. It was a very humiliating and unjust way to grow up. As children we always had to apologize for upsetting an adult - speaking your mind or giving an opinion was frowned upon. As a parent now, I apologize when I have been snappy with my daughter or if I have lost my patience - we all get frustrated and lose our patience once in a while and that is OK. It is owning up to those feelings that is most important. Teaching your kids that grown ups make mistakes and know how to apologize for them is so important. I love this post :)

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    1. I am sorry you grew up like that but sounds like you took from there mistakes and learned. I am really happy to hear your children are getting something better.

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