Sunday, August 9, 2015

Respect Other Mothers (Like you Would Like to Be Respected).

I have not been on the blog for a few weeks. I got sick and it took that long to figure out what is wrong. After we figured it out I was still in a lot of pain. On top of that I have to write a twenty page paper (something like 7,500 words). So anytime I have been able to sit long enough to do any writing it has been school work. I am happy to say the last few days I have had little to no pain so I can blog. I am going to do two post this week on negative ways mothers bring each other down. 

Today's topic is RESPECT for other mothers. 

I am going to write a post on MONSTER mothers. I asked a question on Smilemom (app you can get here or here) about if other moms had lost mom friends about their child being forward facing. The first thing the mothers wanted to do was attack my decision to move my son from rear facing (only two people answered the question I asked). That is what I mean by monster mothers. They see no other way to raise a child than their way, and if you are not doing that than they jump down your throat.
I let that pass, but it happened again when I asked about the quality of pull-ups from the Honest Company (will be doing a blog post on those). All these women went  on to talking about was how I needed to not use pull-ups. For the love of God I did not ask that.

It is sad when one of the worst things about parenting are the mothers you meet. No one prepares you for the judgement that is throw at you. There is no handbook for motherhood, and making it that much harder are mothers who think they know it all and their way is the only way.

Mothers should stop bashing one another for choosing to raise their children differently. You can do all the research you want and for every article that supports your point there is one that does not. There is a reason for this, and it’s called no ONE RIGHT way (read about here). Children, families, cultures, and mothers are all different and they all do a pretty good job (for the most part) of raising good men and women.

How about we stop arguing about breast and bottle and just feed the babies.
Stop bashing about circumcision you did not do it good, the person who did had reasons.
Vaccine or no vaccine the parent has made their decision and if you be little their beliefs it does not change their mind.
Stay at home moms are not lazy and working moms do love their children.
If a mom wants to party every weekend that is her purgative, just like it is yours to spend it with your child(ren).
You did not co-sleep so no one should?
You having your child rear facing until five does not mean you care more about your child’s safety than the parent who turns their child forward facing.
You not having your child watching TV until they were older worked for you, just like mine watching TV now works for me.
You eat all vegan homemade meals that is awesome! We eat out. Isn’t it amazing that all are children get fed.
Why would you want to be a single mom, because why would you want not to? (Yes that is how rude that question comes off.)

This list could go on the point is STOP bashing. Let’s try respecting the differences in who we are as people. Let’s support each other in motherhood, and are children regardless. You do not have to agree with someone to respect them and their decision. If you cannot say anything nice don’t say anything. Before you go thinking everyone should raise children the way you do think about how dual this world we be if we only had one type of music, books, language, culture, and mindset. The differences are what make so much of living worth it. Lest try remembering that as mothers. 

Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.


  1. This needs to be said and you do it so well!

  2. Such good reminders. We are all trying to do the best that we can and we all things differently and that's totally o.k.!

    1. Excellently, we all have the same end goal. How we get there is less important than getting there.

  3. well said and totally agree!