Sunday, October 4, 2015

Economic/ Financial Abuse

Economic/ Financial Abuse
I got married in 2011 at age 21, I had just started school. In fact I did school work on my honeymoon. My ex-husband changed the week we got married he had signs of being controlling but he became horrible, after we were married. He started saying I was cheating, not wanting to give me money, wanted access to my financial information. He would not give me any of his tax information so I could continue with my education and he did not want me to work. The minute him and I did not agree he kicked me out (his name was the only one on the lease, he had a “reason” for that). This is what is called economic/financial abuse and it is less talked about.

Economic abuse, is when someone (usually a man) prevents a person (usually a woman) from getting an education, going to work, putting things in the other person’s name, controlling the other persons paycheck or impacting how many hours the other person works. It has detrimental effects on the persons effected. If the woman wants to leave she has no resources to do so, and if he leaves she has no resources, for the women and children living with this it is lose, lose. Like other forms of abuse is it  is rarely conducted alone often times it is a mix of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

What are the signs of an economic abuser?
Wanting to control of the hours a partner works or interfering with the hours a partner works.
Not wanting a partner to get a job or education.
Not wanting to give the partner money.
Taking the partners money, credit cards, checkbooks, and other such things.
Not wanting to give the partner for financial information (such as bank accounts, tax information).
Does not allow partner to make financial decision.
Rigid on sex roles.

How to protect yourself.
Do keep a bank account that NO ONE knows about.
Do not allow your partner to dictate how you spend/use your money.
Do look into how you can get an education without your partner’s information.
Seek help if you want but do not know how to get out.

Good place to start for help (here)

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Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

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