Thursday, October 15, 2015

Emotional Abuse (verbal abuse)

When I got married something my ex started doing was telling me “you suck” or other such things. Than after he kicked me out he started calling me out of my name (things that I will not even repeat), checking my phone calls, turning my phone services on and off, threatening to leave me alone with Noah or threatening to take Noah. I did not think that any of it was taking it toll on me until I started saying in my head “you suck.” That is the thing about emotional abuse no matter how head strong you are or how much you think it is not effecting you, it is.  All of this is consider emotional abuse, and if you have been following my blog you have seen that this abuse was not paired alone. I dealt with emotional, economic, and sexual abuse.

Emotional abuse like economical abuse is often under played in the damage it can do to a person, but it can be just as damaging to people as physical abuse. Emotional abuse is when a person threatens, possesses, or messes up a person sense of self-worth (such as saying your dumb, calling a person out of their name, and other such things.). Some forms of emotional abuse are stalking, name calling, intimidation, and not letting a partner see friends and family. Like other forms of abuse is it is rarely conducted alone and often times it is a mix of physical, economic, and sexual abuse.
What are some of signs of an emotional abuser?
Watches/wants to know you're doing all the time.
Accuses you of being unfaithful all the time without proof.
Tries to isolate you from seeing friends or family.
Embarrasses you in front of others.
Threatens to harm themselves when upset with you.
Tries to control what you do (like what to wear or eat)
(Learn more here)

How to protect yourself.
Know what emotional abuse is.
Pay attention to how you feel (that is if you start feeling guilty, second guessing yourself, or felling to “sensitive” something might be up.)
Do basic research on what a healthy relationship is like.
Know the difference between a partner giving an opinion, and one being controlling.

Good place to start for help (here).

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Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

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