People have asked me often over the years “how did you became a single mother?” So I thought I would finally write my story down…
When I was 20 I met a guy online, and we talked on the phone and online from December until February. He was a great guy, we went out had fun… Blah blah blah… By August him and I were married. I should make something clear he started talking about marriage in March, but he really started to hound me after my twin sister got married. It was like night and day the way he changed after we got married, he was rude, controlling, emotionally/verbally, economically, sexually abusive.
About a month into the marriage I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant. I was divested, I had just started school, was looking to go back to work, and one of the contingency of me getting married so soon was no baby. However, I knew something was up because condoms kept “breaking”. I know what you are thinking why "were you not on birth control?" Because I did not know anything about how to go about paying for it, and no one told me about Planned Parenthood. This is why you talk to your children about sex. Anyways I told him I did not want to go to term with the pregnancy and this is when his colors started to show. He said okay he would get the money.
He knew because we had talked about it that I would not have an abortion passed nine weeks, mentally I could not handle that. So what did he do, he dragged the time out (he was a truck driver) he left me home for two weeks talking about how he would get the money. Well after two weeks I was tired of hiding in the house worried, tired, and alone so I told him I was going to visits my twin (just in case he came home and I was not there. This guy cussed me out, said that he MIGHT be home that Sunday (it was Friday) and I should stay home. I told him NO, I needed to get out. He told me it was his apartment and if that was the case I should pack my things and go…
I left that day he cussed me out for days over the phone (text and voice mails), calling me names, calling Noah (my than unborn child names). I went to the doctor the Monday after I got kicked out and found out I was only 7 weeks pregnant (at first appointment they said 7 so in fact at first appointment I was around 3 weeks). I thought I can have an abortion it’s still within my timeline, but I had my sisters (and my twins sisters husband) telling me I could do this and they would help they best they could.
So I decided I was becoming a mom. I stayed with my grandparents for a few day, my Twin and her husband moved to Canada so I was able to take over the lease at their apartment. My “husband” would only cover the rent, he would not give me money for food, electricity, or the water, so my older moved in. I tired over the course of my pregnancy to make things work, because I cannot put into words the fear I had of being a single mother.
On April 29, 2012 I had Noah, and his father was there (even though I really did not want him there.). The day him and I were taking Noah to my place he ran off with Noah to another state and kept him for 11 days telling me how I could “get him back” if I would “act right”. I did what any good mother would do I “acted right” long enough (about 3 days and 12 hours) to get my son back. It was a flat out nightmare but I got him back..
That is how I become a single mother. It was not pretty and before Noah’s birth I was not even really happy, but I don’t have any regrets because it’s how I became a mother. Noah is the best thing to happen to me.