Friday, May 6, 2016

6 Questions Every Single Mom Should Ask Their Siblings

One of the hardest things single mothers can deal with is the judgment or feeling of judgement from family about becoming a single mother. So I decided in honor of Mother’s Day I would ask my twin how she felt about me being a single mom….



A little history, my twin is happily married with two AMAZING and wild children (but we would not have them any other way).  My twin and I got married about a month apart, had our sons 6 weeks apart, and we have remained very close. I was a bit nervous about sending her the questions but was pleasantly surprised at the answers.

What was your first thought when you knew I was going to be a single mom?            
                   
Actually, your life before pregnancy seemed hollow and unfair. We had days of joy and laughter, but it seemed like you were just going through the motions. When you got pregnant, even with the father somewhat in the picture I knew this baby only had a mother and I am grateful it was you. Life suddenly took on a new meaning. You found a purpose that loves you and ask nothing in return (except for everything) ^~^. I know, you being not just a mom, but a single mom has shaped you entirely. It has made you stronger, though I didn't think that was possible, and has helped you experience true love.

Did me becoming a single mom change how you viewed me?
                                                 
No, my views have not changed. If anything it has enhanced the great qualities I have always seen in, you.

What do you think are some pros and cons of single motherhood?  

Pros: Only having to focus on you and the child(ren), you can make decisions without having to discuss it with someone else.
Cons: Not always having someone to support you financially and emotionally, you can't sleep in ^~^, You're the breadwinner, and NEVER get sick ^~^.

Do you think I have embraced single motherhood well?       

Yes, you have done an exceptional job at parenting. Your style and approach works for you and your child and that's what matters.

What advice would you give siblings on how to show their support for a sibling who is a single mom?    
                         
 As a single mother a great deal of support is needed from loved ones (family & friends). I would advise siblings to not feel stressed like it is their responsibility, but to offer what little they can when it is and is not asked for. You can only help when you are able, but do not run away because you feel like you will be asked for more than you are able at the time. They will understand if you can't help and you should feel grateful that they look to you for help because that means you still have close and trusting relationship.

What words of support and encouragement would you give a single mom on Mother’s Day?
 
I would remind her of how far she has come and how strong she is for embracing the struggle. I would speak of how beautiful her child(ren) are and most importantly how beautiful she is. It is important for her to know that she is still visually appealing and sexually attractive to her counterparts because it is easy to lose sight of that after having [a] child(ren). It is also incumbent to express how great she is as a parent and how she has developed a beautiful life with her child(ren), so she doesn't feel like life was taken from her after having child(ren).




I am not going to lie I teared up reading this and I am very grateful to have family who has been really supportive of me being a single mom. But it still feels good to have these questions answered being a single parent changes the you and the dynamics of your life. So I challenge the single mom reading this, ask someone you know these questions and you may be surprised at what they say.


What was your first thought when you knew I was going to be a single mom?
Did me becoming a single mom change how you viewed me?
What do you think are some pros and cons of single motherhood?
Do you think I have embraced single motherhood well?
What advice would you give siblings on how to show their support for a sibling who is a single mom?
What words of support and encouragement would you give a single mom on Mother’s Day? 


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Shakirah
Shakirah

Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

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