Monday, May 16, 2016

Why Spanking Doesn’t Lead to Psychological Problems in the Majority of Black Children.

As you can see from the title today's topic is controversial. I have popped (not really spanked because in most cases I do not hit more than once) Noah. This is not done out of anger or frustration it is a well thought through action. In some cases, Noah does not listen and after time outs and repeating myself a million times does not work he gets popped. With that said this is not done over EVERYTHING. This is done when he is doing damage to property, himself, or others. An example being him running out in front of cars. I tried time out, talking with him, not letting him go outside, holding his hand, everything and he was still running out in the street. I made a decision after a very near miss I would rather hurt his feelings by popping him than him get hit.

Spanking, psychology, single mom, black, African American, children, child, discipline

Spanking (popping) is something that at one point was okay now you are evil if you do it. However, I want to give people a few things to think about when they think about the topic.


I know why does race always have to be a factor? In this case it is very important because most of those studies talking about how spanking is bad are done on (clear throat) white middle class children. You cannot apply how white middle class children react to something and then apply that reaction to black, Latino, Asian, or even white lower class children. I know you did not know this about psychology! (I did not either until I was in school.)

When a study was done on black children guess what the results were…. A minority of black children have psychological effects from spanking, while a majority of black children did not. *


I am sure spanking stems from slavery in America slaves had to be inline and this included the children. At this point spankings is an ingrained part of black culture it is not something that is inherently seen as bad. I grew up and almost every child I knew got spanked the fact that my mother did not do it was mind blowing to everyone (but my grandmother did spank so I was not out of the woods {so to say}.). Not only is spanking seen as done with love but it is normal.

This is not the case with the majority of white families, spanking is a deviant behavior it brings about guilt, shame, secrecy. These are not positive things for a child to feel.


Most black children do not just get spanked and that is it. We get a lecture on why we got in trouble. * This is the reason why only a minority of black child feel psychological damage. It was tested on white middle class children who were spanked and when their parents explained why they got in trouble (instead of just walking away as many white parents do) they showed less distress and feel the action was done more so out of love and not anger.

Last Reaction

For most black children spanking is a last effort to correct a behavior. As with the story I told about Noah. Spanking has a wow factor that causes a pause and in most cases you have the child’s attention, at this point talk with them.

Think about it like this some Asian children are put on strike school and activity regimens, while non-Asian children suffer psychological damage from the same regimen. A majority of Asian children thrive, while a minority suffer. The Asian children know that this is done out of love for them. Same exact thing for spanking with black children. What does not work for one culture will work for another. There is no world where we get to have 100% of children happy and psychologically fulfilled.

This is not a post to convince you popping is the best form of displace or that you need to do it. This post is about keeping biased ideas and judgments to yourself.  

Disclaimer: If you are leaving marks, spanking is done every day, you are hitting your child with an object, or hitting is done out of anger this is not spanking it is physical abuse. If you need a listening ear, please contact the National Parent Help Line (1-855-427-2736) or get in contact with me you are not alone.

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Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.


  1. I grew up in a time where if you were naughty, you got a spanking. It was perfectly normal and to be expected. No psychological effects. I'm not scarred to my core, or anywhere else. I am a white girl. I popped my own kids when needed, just like you talked about with your Noah, and the grandkids aren't immune either if need be. Nobody at our house is scarred, what they learned is that there is a reason for what you are told to not do, and a repercussion if you continue to do it. I absolutely agree that there is a world of difference between a spanking and abuse.

    1. Thank you I change to the post basted on your comment.

  2. This is an awesome article! I grew up with spankings and I don't have any psychological damage. I don't even remember getting many spankings. They were only used as a last resort. I was actually a good kid so I didn't get spankings as much. I spank my kids when it's totally necessary. I have a lot of talks with them and it helps significantly with the way they behave. :)

    1. I am the same way I talk to Noah as often as I can to resolve a situation.