Friday, February 3, 2017

How Failing Can Teach You to Love Yourself More

I have been thinking all week what to write about and I just figured I would write about what almost failing my 21 day yoga challenge has taught me.

Sometimes the best thing you can do as a single mother is fail at your 21 day yoga challenge, because it might just show you how you have put yourself on the back burner. As single mothers we carry so much weight, and we are just as worthy of our own time.


Before you lose it no I am not doing a review but talking about the struggle. One thing that has the biggest  impact on my life is WORK! If you are subscribed to my email list you would have noticed that you did not get an email on Monday (if you are not subscribed what are you waiting for?) and that is because I am burnt out.


Do not get me wrong I enjoy the company I work for, I enjoy my co-teachers, I love the children I help care for, but the workload on top of my personal life is becoming overwhelming. I went back into childcare for two reasons; first, get back into the workforce,and second fill my time until I went back to school this year…. Well now the Trump is in office I have put off going to school (who knows what they are going to do to interest rates and students loans) so as you can imagine I am devastated. I cannot work in the career I want without a masters so I am kind of feeling a bit stuck. I want to work with children just not the way I am now. I am coming up on 9 months working this job and I don’t know how I feel at the moment.


But getting back on topic, I made it through the first week of my challenge (8 days really) and did not skip a day. I started eating more (and you know that takes work for me), doing my yoga, and meditation. I could feel the difference I was a happier, less tired, had my anxiety and stress under better control. Than life hit, I got sick, Noah got sick, work got crazy, and I was so tired. I did not do days 9, 10, or 11 on time. But I learned something so mind blowing about myself when skipping these days.


Why is it I can dust myself off no matter how tired I am for others but put what I need/want on the back burner? So on Tuesday night I caught up days 9 and 10, and on Wednesday caught up on day 11 and 12 (I am back on track). What missing those days taught me is that I am just as important to take care of as my son, my job, or anything else. If I  am tired I don’t just not go to work, because I deem it going to work as important I should also have that same mindset when it comes to myself.


As single mothers we carry so much weight, and we are just as worthy of our own time.  So if you want to do yoga, run, paint, meditate, or just sit in a bath do that and make time in your day. Your child has nothing if all they have is a stressed, overworked, and tired parent.
So here is what you can/need to do:


Take 10, 20, 30 minutes from something else and give that time to yourself.
Take five minutes a day or every other day to meditate.
Have an easy day. I have said this in another post. When you are doing everything alone you need to set time aside to unwind.

Look at how you are managing your time and put it to use for not just others but yourself. Don't forget to take a look at the series I did on time management just for single mothers and get some tips.


What are you going to start doing for you? How will you start demanding your own time?


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Shakirah
Shakirah

Shakirah is a single mom to a 5 year old. She is a blogger, teacher, and graduate student. Her goal is to bring a more positive and realistic look into the lives of single mothers.

20 comments:

  1. Giving myself more time in the day. That is one of my personal for 2017. We spend so much of ourselves I think in giving and caring for others that sometimes our needs take a back seat. I've found that a conscious effort on my part on how I allocate and spend my time actually helps. One day at a time. ��

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    1. I am also taking it a day at a time.

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  2. I won't go off on a rant on time management but it is all about sticking to a schedule. I'm sorry you have had to put off your dreams. My father was in Social work for a millions years and eventually even ran adoption for the state of PA and he didn't get his Masters till his late thirties and I guess I am saying that having to put it off doesn't mean its over. :)

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    1. Thanks for that. I am going to get my masters I am determined to.

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  3. I start my day in meditation. I've doing it now for almost a year and it has been challenging but I'm noticed positive changes. Living in the now is key.

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    1. I cannot wake myself up to do it in the morning. I am hoping I'll get there at some point.

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  4. Its extremely important fail - at everything. Unless you fail, you won't succeed and I'm saying that from experience.

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  5. I am not looking for my own time. I spend too much time alone as it is.

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    1. You don't have to do it alone, just make sure it is for you.

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  6. I guess you feel satisfied only if you get some time for yourself apart from home and office... This is what I felt when I changed my routine and started fixing time for my health and spending some with time my friends.. :)

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    1. It does not have to be to myself (in fact I often do yoga with my son in the room with me), it just needs to be for me. I put so many other things ahead thinking it is more important.

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  7. This can also apply to us who have lost a spouse,time can be a real enemy to us....we don't use it wisely. Enjoyed reading this blog,Shakirah.

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    1. Thank you, and yes this can apply to so many people.

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  8. Appreciable ! Thanks for sharing.

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  9. I don't believe in failure. Sometimes you need to try things to put on the path to what you want :)

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    1. That is a very positive way at looking at it.

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  10. I need to start doing that. Even on my day off I am doing household stuff. Moms usually have so much on their shoulders that need to get a few minutes out for themselves..

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    1. Yes we do! It is hard because life happens and it is always easy to say to yourself "I can just do it later."

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