4 Ways Men Sabotage Relationships With Single Mothers

Friday, March 31, 2017


My relationship happens to be on the rocks. I always feel when a relationship is having a hard time it is never a one-person problem. When a relationship fails it is in part by two people failing at something. I understand dating a single mother (like me) is hard, it requires sacrifice, selflessness, and a lot of broken plans. I am dating a nice enough guy who understands a lot about dating a single mother but I have noticed some things in him that are sabotaging our relationship. If you are single mother or are dating a single mother and things are getting shaky ask yourself am I (or is he) unknowingly sabotaging the relationship?
My relationship happens to be on the rocks. I always feel when a relationship is having a hard time it is never a one-person problem. When a relationship fails it is in part by two people failing at something. I talked about some of the ways I have sabotaged my relationships in 4 Ways Single Moms Sabotage Romantic Relationships. I understand dating a single mother (like me) is hard, it requires sacrifice, selflessness, and a lot of broken plans. I am dating a nice enough guy who understands a lot about dating a single mother but I have noticed some things in him that are sabotaging our relationship. If you are single mother or are dating a single mother and things are getting shaky ask yourself am I (or is he) unknowingly sabotaging the relationship?

Is he making you pay for the sins of others. 
This has been a big problem in my current relationship. The problem with making the new girlfriend deal with the ex’s mistakes is that it is hurtful, stressful, and it is a deal breaker. After so much time it gets to the point where you don’t even want to deal with him. The relationships become more work than it is worth.

Is he making you feel like you are still a single mother. 
If you dating the guy  he should put a little effort into helping you out. If he feels watching a game with you and your child or going to the store is not enough than end it. Single moms also be mindful to let him help, I have been guilty of not letting people help me.

Is he telling you he is going to do something and not. Life happens (we know this very well) promises and plans will be broken. 
The problem is when it is all the time and it involves the child(ren) it becomes too much. I grew up in a house with a lot of broken promises and I can tell you it takes a toll, and you stop feeling you are deserving, this is true for both children and adults.

Is he using the words use me, owe me, or anything like that when pertaining to the things he does.
I can say that 90% of the time I keep my personal life out of my writing.  My boyfriend is very quick to use the words use and owe. It is to the point that I am not asking him to help me with ANYTHING. I won’t even let him so much as baby sit my son. This is not only hurtful but it makes me feel like I cannot rely on him as help. At this point I feel I cannot have both the relationship and be a good mother. If you tell a woman she is using, you for money or wasting your time you are saying I am ready to end the relationships.

Have you ever had any of these ugly problems show up in a relationship? How did you deal with them?

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My relationship happens to be on the rocks. I always feel when a relationship is having a hard time it is never a one-person problem. When a relationship fails it is in part by two people failing at something. I understand dating a single mother (like me) is hard, it requires sacrifice, selflessness, and a lot of broken plans. I am dating a nice enough guy who understands a lot about dating a single mother but I have noticed some things in him that are sabotaging our relationship. If you are single mother or are dating a single mother and things are getting shaky ask yourself am I (or is he) unknowingly sabotaging the relationship?

5 comments

  1. Ouch...this was hard to read only because you yourself admitted to doing a lot of the same things men do to ruin a relationship. But I will say this,the last tip....if anyone starts saying "you owe me"...you owe it to yourself to kick them to the curb!

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  2. I think it's very hard to date people who don't have children, thats just my opinion. I agree with you on the words which kind of sound emotionally abusive. I remember my ex telling me I would be nothing without him and hearing it enough times I started to believe it. I don't believe that people don't choose their words.

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  3. That's too much game playing for me, which I have no tolerance for. You should be able to have a healthy relationship with your partner. Two people who are willing to work on having a happy relationship is the only way to go.

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  4. You are incredibly strong from the get go just being a single mom. I agree with you when you say a relationship takes two. Also I believe when you find the right one.....you really don't have to "work" at your relationship anymore, life love and happiness start to come naturally.

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  5. So sorry you are going through this - that's so rough! You put what you are going through into a beautiful post that will help support others in the same situation and make them thing about the future of their relationship. I can't imagine dating with kids (of my own, my husband had a daughter when we started dating, but it seems different for men).

    ReplyDelete

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